1. |
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my husband does not look like a gecko!! you are wrong, that was low.
okay, so he's not really my husband???? i just call him that because i wish he was
and he does
not
look like a gecko
don't you know? he has? the most beautiful and frightening brown eyes?
and i want to feed him marshmallows until we die
and no one will cry because clearly it was destiny to try
and feed delicious treats to a man who does not remotely resemble a reptile, how could you?!?!?!?!
and next time you have a crush, i'll recall the time that we were drunk
sipping cider and showing you my phone and a picture of his face
someday
you
will tell me all about your latest love
and of course i will tell you that they look
like
a snake probably or maybe a newt or a frog or a toad
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2. |
Red Line
02:52
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What did I always think I'd need?
Gentle hands to help me bleach my hair
Black to green, and back again until I'm free to wear whatever I want to wear,
And body heat beside me in the willful weather out there
Together by the window, curled up in the bus seat that we share
Right now I've got my eyes turned down to see
The crush, the lust and contents of my little screen
you w-a-n-t m-e
and your lonely words compel me
you should never have to miss me
living so low in the city
What do you know of greed?
You're just deliciously flirtatious in your time
Spent with me, pushing buttons across a continent and sea
I will push the product waiting for a lower price
And when the clock is slower than it ought to be
I'll get my narrowed eyes all rolling down to see
Your messages to start a marathon of heartbeats
but i'll see you at the ending
when my day is done defending
the disease that fills my hours
building other people's power
all the time
all the time
all the time
all the time
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3. |
Strawberry Soda Pop
03:12
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he's never lifted from a dollar store or cried inside a pawn shop
my fake lawn kind of friend, bubbly as my soda pop
he'd never get arrested in the restrooms, or leave his groceries in the cart
I wish my bitter world would break his little heart
it's not amusing when you never have a chance to try another way
he ripped his thrifted hipster coat and bought designer next, it's all okay
you know he's only camping if you catch him sleeping in his glossy car
But I'll be surfing furniture or staring at the stars
I don't wanna start a fight, I just thought I'd let you know
Why I won't be at your side even if I want to go
you'll never understand, i'd be shocked to hear you try
Your life is mostly nice to live, the rest of us... Not so much
I guess you'll ask me if I'll tag along and sit there while you read the bill
I can't afford an appetizer at your favorites so I never will
I've got to hand it to you there, it takes some guts to ask for sympathy
When your problems are so easy in the end compared to me
You get delighted at my stories dredged in grit but no it's not a trade
For anything that's gonna help me drag this chapter past another day
The monologue of rage would never end, if I ever let it start
I wish my bitter world would break your little heart
I don't wanna start a fight, I just thought I'd let you know
Why I won't be at your side even if I want to go
you'll never understand, i'd be shocked to hear you try
Your life is mostly nice to live, the rest of us... Not so much
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4. |
Lambskin Dream
03:34
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I promise you that noise is only a neighbor getting ready for bed
and the spiraling scream of car alarms is on its way out
the nightly needs of stray animals waiting in the garden
only sound so bad amplified for the animations in your head
Now listen to me instead
Now listen to me instead
I went there and walked on through
I've already been before you
You've always held control, turn down the music or the light
Chemical shadow puppets could be calmer I suppose
You wouldn't have this on your tongue if it wasn't meant to be
And you'll be making it through the labyrinth delighted, all right?
Now listen to me tonight
Now listen to me tonight
I went there and walked on through
I've already been before you
And I'd never lie to you
And I'd never lie to you
I know what you're supposed to do
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5. |
The Gay Reptilian Agenda
02:28
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I accept it, the science is true
I fell for a cold-blooded man and there's nothing left to do
I admit it, these allegations are nothing new
Many have said before that I'm a lizard too
Someday he'll look at me
And know it's meant to be
Cuz we're both scaly and illuminati
Then everyone will see
Us taking over tenderly
The sweetest mutual conspiracy
Maybe one of us will write
Love letters in the sky
With chemtrails for the other to admire
The federal reserve
Our friends at Bilderberg
Will sing for us, a new world order choir
We'll find a sunny place
To warm our bones and then suck face
Before we call our comrades down from outer space
As all the theorists scream
And run for cover from our schemes
Our love will be the stuff of creepy dreams
So tell that alex jones
David Icke, leave us alone
you're just jealous of us both you know
Go put it on your show
And say it from the radio
That I adore a 6' 1" gecko
Come on give me a shout
Don't be scared just ask me out
See what reptile romance is about
Then everyone will see
Us rule the planet happily
The sweetest mutual conspiracy
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6. |
Obligatory
02:30
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7. |
Slightly Seductive Song
01:44
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you're a fanboy, i'm a fanboy
wow how great, we should date
i'll go see your shows and bring you flowers and kiss your nose
you like dogs and i like dogs
we love new york and i'm a dork
with a crush on you cuz you're one too and falling for me is something you should do
you like camping, i like camping
in fact your face would be the greatest place
for my mouth to go on the best adventure i'd ever know
is that you lurking on my blog? cuz that's likely a sign that we'd get along
which i already think but you seem to need further convincing via song
or maybe you think i'm creepy, a word that
kind of describes me but either way it's your attention that I'm needing
just to wander through your mind
cuz you have time and i have time
to figure out how well we'd tangle on your couch
you have brown eyes, i love brown eyes
i'll buy you fries and apple pies
all the junk food cuz' supposedly we both like that too
but most of all i like you
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8. |
Smitten Kitten Pt. 3
01:26
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I'm gonna fap my way to California
I'm sorry pilots and passengers, I tried to warn ya
When we're taking off, I'm gonna be getting off
Cuz' the TSA can't take my vibrator away
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